140 Words to Describe a Woman
Most lists on this subject are lists of compliments, sorted by how flattering they are. This one is sorted by what the words actually do, because the useful fact about describing a woman is not that there are many words for it — it is that some of them behave differently than they would about a man.
This page lists 140 words to describe a woman, each with its meaning. Every one was checked for an adjective entry of its own in Merriam-Webster or Oxford. 28 of them are not compliments and 24 depend entirely on the sentence, and those are marked in the tables.
Two different things are marked, and the brackets tell you which is which. A label in round brackets — (formal), (informal), (disapproving), (approving) — is one a dictionary actually prints, and 72 words carry one. A mark in square brackets — [not a compliment], [depends on the sentence] — is this page’s own reading of how the word lands when it is written about a real woman, and you are entitled to disagree with it.
The last section holds the 23 words that carry a genuine double standard, and 44 entries across the page carry a note on it. Where the dictionary itself genders a word the note quotes it; where the asymmetry is real but unrecorded, the note says that it is ours. Words that turned out to have no asymmetry once the dictionaries were checked — dowdy is the clearest — were moved out of that section rather than left there to pad it.
All 140 words at a glance
adolescent, ageless, bitchy, bossy, bubbly, buxom, catty, charismatic, comely, compassionate, coquettish, curvy, dignified, ditzy, dowdy, elderly, elegant, emotional, engaging, enigmatic, feisty, frumpy, grown, hormonal, hysterical, immaculate, imposing, kittenish, leggy, magnetic, mannish, masterful, maternal, matronly, mature, measured, merciful, mercurial, methodical, meticulous, middle-aged, mighty, modest, moody, motherly, mumsy, nagging, neighborly, obliging, observant, openhearted, perceptive, persistent, perspicacious, pert, petite, pioneering, placid, poised, powerful, pragmatic, prescient, principled, prissy, private, profound, protective, prudish, pushy, quiet, radiant, rational, redoubtable, reflective, regal, reserved, resilient, resolute, resourceful, reticent, retired, robust, sagacious, sassy, savvy, scholarly, self-assured, serene, shapely, shrewd, shrewish, shrill, sisterly, sleek, slender, softhearted, solicitous, sparkling, spinsterish, spirited, sprightly, stalwart, stately, statuesque, steadfast, steely, stoic, striking, strong, stubborn, sturdy, stylish, supportive, svelte, sympathetic, temperamental, temperate, tender, tenderhearted, tireless, trim, understanding, unfeminine, unflappable, unladylike, unwavering, uppity, urbane, warm, warmhearted, wary, waspish, welcoming, whiny, willowy, winsome, wise, witty, wry, youthful
Character and temperament
Disposition rather than performance, and the largest section. Several of these are admiring only until she is described as nothing else: quiet, private and reserved read as praise in one sentence and as a complaint in the next.
| Adjective | What it means |
|---|---|
| measured | marked by due proportion; slow, careful and controlled in speech or manner |
| mercurial | characterized by rapid and unpredictable changes of mood; in a further sense, lively and quick (literary) [depends on the sentence] |
| modest | having or showing a moderate estimate of one’s own abilities or worth; not boastful (approving) — Why it lands differently: Oxford genders only the dress sense: ‘(of people, especially women, or their clothes) shy about showing much of the body’. The not-boastful sense defined here is gendered by neither dictionary, and Merriam-Webster’s parallel dress sense carries no gender restriction either. |
| moody | prone to low, gloomy spells; more loosely, liable to quick and unpredictable changes of mood [not a compliment] — Why it lands differently: neither dictionary genders it – Merriam-Webster’s “a moody woman” is an example, not a label – but written of a woman it is read as her nature rather than her circumstances, an asymmetry no dictionary records. |
| placid | not easily excited or annoyed; free of disturbance or interruption [depends on the sentence] |
| principled | having strong beliefs about what is right and wrong, and acting on them |
| prissy | too careful to always behave correctly and easily shocked by rude behaviour; overly prim and precise (informal, disapproving) [not a compliment] |
| private | belonging to one particular person rather than the public; of a person, not sharing inner thoughts and feelings |
| prudish | very easily shocked by things connected with sex; marked by prudery (disapproving) [not a compliment] |
| pushy | trying hard to get what you want, especially in a way that seems rude (informal, disapproving) [not a compliment] |
| quiet | making very little noise; of a person, tending not to talk very much |
| reserved | restrained in words and actions; slow or unwilling to show feelings or express opinions (same sense as reticent) |
| reticent | inclined to be silent or uncommunicative in speech; unwilling to tell people about things (formal; same sense as reserved) |
| serene | marked by utter calm and unruffled repose; peaceful in manner and untroubled by disturbance |
| steadfast | firm in allegiance to a person, belief or cause; unswerving, and not changing in attitude or aim (literary, approving) |
| stoic | not showing feeling, and especially holding back any sign of pain or distress [depends on the sentence] — Why it lands differently: Our own note: this is the mirror of ’emotional’ and ‘hysterical’ on this page. The same restraint that is admired here is what those two are marked down for lacking, and the same writer will often apply one set to men and the other to women. |
| stubborn | unreasonably unyielding; refusing to shift an opinion or position whatever the argument against it (often disapproving) [not a compliment] |
| temperamental | marked by excessive sensitivity and impulsive changes of mood; of a machine, unpredictable in performance (disapproving) [not a compliment] |
| temperate | having a mild climate without extremes of heat or cold; of a person, behaving with moderation and self-control (specialist in the climate sense; formal in the person sense) |
| unflappable | able to keep composure and self-control in a difficult or alarming situation (informal) |
| uppity | putting on airs of superiority; taken as aspiring to a rank above the one you are allowed (somewhat old-fashioned; disparaging and sometimes offensive) [not a compliment] — Why it lands differently: Merriam-Webster records a long history of this word being aimed at racial minorities and especially at Black people, and marks that use disparaging and sometimes offensive. The same ‘knowing your place’ charge is what it carries when aimed at a woman. |
| wary | careful and watchful, with a touch of cunning; on guard against danger |
| waspish | snappish and petulant, in the manner of a wasp; expressing criticism or showing irritation (formal) [not a compliment] |
| whiny | characterized by whining – having a high-pitched, plaintive voice, or given to constant complaining (disapproving) [not a compliment] |
Warmth and generosity
How she treats people. Worth noticing that this is the section every list of this kind is longest in, and worth asking whether a description that stops here has said anything about what she can do.
| Adjective | What it means |
|---|---|
| compassionate | feeling or showing sympathy for people or animals who are suffering |
| maternal | of, relating to, or characteristic of a mother; also, related through the mother’s side of a family (same sense as motherly) |
| merciful | full of mercy: ready to forgive, and to spare someone the punishment or suffering they could have received |
| motherly | of, relating to, or characteristic of a mother, as in the care or advice a mother gives (same sense as maternal) |
| neighborly | characteristic of a good neighbour: friendly, helpful and disposed to live on good terms with those nearby |
| obliging | willing to do favors and go out of one’s way to help (formal) |
| openhearted | kind and friendly; also, candidly straightforward and readily moved by another’s feeling |
| protective | providing or intended to provide protection; of a person, anxious to keep someone from harm [depends on the sentence] |
| sisterly | having the characteristics of a sister: the affection, loyalty or solidarity one sister shows another — Why it lands differently: both dictionaries define it through “sister”, so the sense is female by definition – that is the definition’s own wording, not a printed usage restriction. |
| softhearted | emotionally responsive; quick to feel for others and reluctant to be hard on anyone |
| solicitous | showing concern for another’s comfort, health or happiness, attentively and often anxiously (formal) |
| supportive | encouraging someone, or giving them practical help and fellow feeling |
| sympathetic | existing through affinity or mutual association; of people, kind to anyone hurt or sad (same sense as understanding) |
| tender | marked by or expressing the softer emotions; fond, loving, and gentle in touch or in tone (obsolete in the ‘dear, precious’ sense) |
| tenderhearted | easily moved to love, pity or sorrow; gentle by nature |
| understanding | tolerant of other people’s failings and troubles, and ready to forgive rather than judge (archaic in the ‘knowing, intelligent’ sense; same sense as sympathetic) |
| warm | giving out heat to a moderate, pleasant degree; of a person, readily showing affection and cordiality |
| warmhearted | marked by ready affection, cordiality and generosity toward others |
| welcoming | friendly toward someone visiting or arriving; of a place, pleasant and comfortable to be in |
Strength and drive
Capability and force. Masterful sits here rather than in the last section, but read its note: Oxford restricts it to a person, especially a man, and it is what bossy would be if a man did it.
| Adjective | What it means |
|---|---|
| masterful | inclined and usually competent to act as master; also suggestive of a domineering nature [depends on the sentence] — Why it lands differently: Oxford restricts sense 1 to ‘a person, especially a man’. Our own note: this is ‘bossy’ when a man does it, and Merriam-Webster gives both words a domineering sense. |
| mighty | possessing great might; very strong, and large and impressive with it (especially literary) |
| persistent | determined to keep at something despite difficulties, even when others find it annoying or unreasonable [depends on the sentence] |
| pioneering | introducing ideas and methods that have never been used before |
| powerful | able to control and influence people and events, with real authority over what happens |
| redoubtable | causing fear or alarm; formidable in a way that commands respect as well (formal) |
| resilient | able to absorb shock and to recover from misfortune or change without lasting damage |
| resolute | marked by firm determination; not to be turned aside from a chosen course |
| resourceful | able to meet whatever a situation demands by devising ways and means on the spot (approving) |
| robust | having vigorous health and a hardy constitution; able to hold up under hard use (dated in the ‘rough, rude’ sense) |
| self-assured | sure of oneself, with settled confidence in one’s own abilities |
| stalwart | marked by outstanding vigour of body, mind or spirit; reliable in a difficult situation (formal in the ‘physically strong’ sense) |
| steely | resembling steel in hardness and coldness; hard and unbending in temper [depends on the sentence] |
| strong | having great bodily force; also having moral or intellectual power, and able to hold up under strain — Why it lands differently: Our own note: ‘a strong woman’ is usually heard as a claim about character, where ‘a strong man’ is first heard as physique. Neither dictionary records the difference. |
| sturdy | firmly built and not easily damaged; of a person, solidly made and physically hardy [depends on the sentence] — Why it lands differently: not gendered in either dictionary; the asymmetry is ours – of a woman’s build it is commonly heard as a euphemism for heavy, where of a man it reads as plain praise. |
| tireless | seemingly incapable of tiring; keeping up hard work and energy over a long period (approving) |
| unwavering | continuing in a steady way, without faltering or weakening (formal) |
Mind and wit
Judgement, intellect and humour, and the section most often left out altogether. If a reference or a profile uses nothing from here, that absence will be read.
| Adjective | What it means |
|---|---|
| methodical | arranged or carried out with method and order; proceeding step by step |
| meticulous | very careful about doing something in an exact and accurate way, down to the last detail (approving) |
| observant | paying strict attention; quick to notice what is going on around one (formal in the ‘obeying religious law’ sense) |
| perceptive | quick to see and grasp things, especially the ones that are not obvious (approving; specialist or formal in the ‘connected with seeing’ sense; same sense as perspicacious) |
| perspicacious | able to see into a person or situation quickly and accurately (formal; same sense as perceptive) |
| pragmatic | solving problems in a practical, sensible way rather than by fixed ideas or theories (archaic in the ‘busy, officious, opinionated’ senses) |
| prescient | knowing, or appearing to know, about things before they happen (formal) |
| profound | very great and felt with intensity; of a person or idea, showing depth of knowledge (medical in the ‘complete’ sense) |
| rational | having reason; based on reason and clear thinking rather than on feelings — Why it lands differently: neither dictionary genders it; the asymmetry is ours – praising a woman as rational can imply surprise, against the stereotype other entries here (emotional, hysterical) record. |
| reflective | capable of reflecting light, images or sound; of a person, given to thinking deeply (formal in the ‘thinking deeply’ sense) |
| sagacious | showing keen, farsighted judgement and the ability to make good decisions in difficult situations (formal; same sense as wise) |
| savvy | having or showing sharp practical perception and know-how, especially in everyday matters (informal) |
| scholarly | characteristic of a scholar – deeply learned in an academic subject and given to serious study |
| shrewd | having the insight and intelligence to make good judgments about practical matters, with a shade of cunning [depends on the sentence] |
| wise | marked by deep insight, keen discernment and the capacity for sound judgement (archaic in the ‘skilled in magic or divination’ sense; same sense as sagacious) |
| witty | full of clever humour; quick to see and express amusing connections between things (archaic in the ‘having good intellectual capacity’ sense) |
| wry | dryly humorous, showing amusement at something that is also disappointing; also twisted to one side |
Presence and manner
How she comes across in a room, which is not the same as how she looks. Poised and self-assured describe control; magnetic and charismatic describe an effect on other people.
| Adjective | What it means |
|---|---|
| charismatic | having charisma – a personal quality that inspires devotion and enthusiasm in other people |
| dignified | calm and serious in bearing, in a way that deserves respect |
| elegant | attractive and showing a good sense of style, in appearance or in behaviour (same sense as stylish) |
| engaging | drawing favorable attention or interest; pleasant in a way that holds people’s attention (same sense as winsome) [depends on the sentence] |
| enigmatic | resembling an enigma – mysterious, and difficult to interpret or explain |
| imposing | impressive in size, bearing or grandeur, and making an immediate impression on the eye [depends on the sentence] |
| magnetic | possessing an extraordinary power or ability to attract other people |
| poised | balanced and still but ready to move at any moment; of a person, calm and in control of oneself |
| regal | of, relating to, or fit for a king or queen, and so impressive or splendid |
| sparkling | shining and flashing with light; of talk or manner, interesting and funny |
| spirited | full of energy, animation and courage (same sense as sprightly) [depends on the sentence] |
| sprightly | full of life and energy, and lively in movement (same sense as spirited) [depends on the sentence] |
| stately | marked by a lofty and formal grandeur of bearing; impressive in size, appearance or manner [depends on the sentence] |
| urbane | notably polite and polished in manner, and at ease in any social situation (approving) — Why it lands differently: Oxford’s only sense begins ‘especially of a man’. Our own note: this is the same restriction the dictionary puts on ‘masterful’, in a word the page recommends for describing a woman. |
| winsome | pleasing and attractive, often through a childlike charm and innocence (especially literary; same sense as engaging) [depends on the sentence] — Why it lands differently: Our own note: it praises a grown woman for a childlike charm, which is the move this page marks ‘kittenish’ down for. Read the two together before using either. |
Appearance and bearing
Read this section differently from the others. These are words for a real person’s body, and several — buxom, leggy, curvy — have no male equivalent and no use except to comment on it. Oxford does mark several of the thinness words approving, and where it does the label is shown — but this page adds no approval of its own to them, because how thin a woman is is not an achievement to be graded.
| Adjective | What it means |
|---|---|
| buxom | of a woman, large in a way meant as attractive, and with large breasts [depends on the sentence] — Why it lands differently: Oxford’s definition is ‘large in an attractive way, and with large breasts’. Our own note: its only live use is a comment on a woman’s body, and it has no male equivalent. Think before writing it about a real person. |
| comely | pleasurably conforming to notions of good appearance, suitability or proportion; pleasant to look at (literary) — Why it lands differently: Oxford prints ‘most often used of a woman’. |
| curvy | having curves; used especially of a woman’s figure with an attractively curved outline (informal) — Why it lands differently: Our own note: like ‘buxom’ and ‘leggy’ this comments on a woman’s body and has no male equivalent. |
| dowdy | not neat or becoming in appearance; shabby, and lacking smartness, taste or fashion (same sense as frumpy) [not a compliment] |
| immaculate | spotlessly clean; perfectly tidy, with no marks or flaws |
| leggy | having noticeably long legs (informal) [depends on the sentence] — Why it lands differently: Oxford prints ‘most often used of a woman or girl’. Our own note: of a named adult woman this is tabloid vocabulary and reduces her to her body. |
| petite | small and thin in build (approving) — Why it lands differently: Oxford prints ‘of a girl, woman or her figure’; Merriam-Webster adds ‘usually used of a woman’. |
| radiant | giving off or reflecting light, vividly bright; of a person, showing great happiness, love or health |
| shapely | having a regular or pleasing form; of a woman’s body, attractively rounded — Why it lands differently: Oxford prints ‘especially of a woman’s body’. |
| sleek | smooth and glossy as if polished; of a person, smooth and well-groomed in appearance (approving) |
| slender | spare in frame or flesh, gracefully slight; of a body, thin in an attractive way (approving; same sense as svelte) |
| statuesque | resembling a statue in stillness, proportion and bearing; tall and beautiful in an impressive way (formal) — Why it lands differently: Oxford prints ‘usually of a woman’. |
| striking | attracting attention or notice through unusual or conspicuous qualities; often very attractive in an unusual way |
| stylish | conforming to current fashion; fashionable and attractive in appearance (approving; same sense as elegant) |
| svelte | lithe and attractively thin in build (approving; same sense as slender) — Why it lands differently: Oxford prints ‘of a person, especially a woman’. |
| trim | showing neatness, good order and compactness of line; of a person, looking thin, healthy and fit (obsolete in the ‘excellent, fine’ sense) |
| willowy | abounding with willows; of a person, tall and slim, moving with the pliancy of a willow (approving) — Why it lands differently: Oxford prints ‘of a person, especially a woman’. |
Age and life stage
The most euphemistic corner of the vocabulary. Mature is Oxford’s own example of a polite way of saying somebody is no longer young, and it is used of women far more readily than of men.
| Adjective | What it means |
|---|---|
| adolescent | in or relating to the stage of developing from a child into an adult; also, emotionally childish (disapproving in the ’emotionally childish’ sense) |
| ageless | not growing old or showing the effects of age; also, timeless and unchanging (literary) |
| elderly | rather old, and especially past midlife – used as a polite word for old |
| grown | fully developed and no longer a child; of a person, an adult in body and mind (same sense as mature) [depends on the sentence] |
| mature | having completed natural development and become ripe; of a person, fully developed in body and judgement (same sense as grown) [depends on the sentence] — Why it lands differently: Neither dictionary genders it, and this asymmetry is not recorded by either: written of a woman it often works as a euphemism for older, where of a man it more often reads as sound judgement. |
| middle-aged | being in the period of life from about 45 to 64; neither young nor old (obsolete in the ‘medieval’ sense) [depends on the sentence] |
| retired | secluded or withdrawn from the world; of a person, having concluded a working or professional career |
| youthful | characteristic of young people – their energy and freshness, or their inexperience |
Said of women far more than men
The section this page exists for. Every entry here carries a note saying where the asymmetry comes from — a dictionary’s own restriction, quoted, or our reading, labelled as ours. Naming these words is not recommending them: most are marked not a compliment, and the point of listing them is that a writer should know what they do before reaching for one.
| Adjective | What it means |
|---|---|
| bitchy | characterized by malicious, spiteful or arrogant behaviour, saying unpleasant and unkind things about other people (informal; same sense as catty) [not a compliment] — Why it lands differently: neither dictionary genders it; our own note – it is built on a female-marked insult and is seldom used of a man. |
| bossy | inclined to domineer, and always telling other people what to do (disapproving) [not a compliment] — Why it lands differently: neither dictionary genders it; our own note – it lands on a woman where the same behaviour in a man is called assertive. |
| bubbly | full of bubbles; of a person, cheerful, lively, friendly and enthusiastic (informal in the ‘cheerful’ sense) — Why it lands differently: Neither dictionary genders it. Our own note: it is used overwhelmingly of young women, and it praises a manner rather than anything a person has done. |
| catty | resembling a cat; especially, slyly spiteful and given to saying unkind things about other people (informal; same sense as bitchy) [not a compliment] — Why it lands differently: no dictionary gender label; our own note – it is used almost entirely of women, with no established male equivalent. |
| coquettish | having the nature of a coquette, behaving in a way meant to be sexually attractive but not serious (literary, often disapproving) [not a compliment] — Why it lands differently: Oxford prints “(most often used of a woman)”; MW does not gender the entry. |
| ditzy | eccentrically silly, giddy or inane; not able to be trusted to remember things or to think clearly (especially North American English, informal) [not a compliment] — Why it lands differently: Neither dictionary genders it. Our own note: in practice it attaches to young women, and ‘ditzy blonde’ is the phrase that carries it. |
| emotional | of or relating to emotion; also, dominated by or prone to emotion (sometimes disapproving) [depends on the sentence] — Why it lands differently: neither dictionary genders it; our own note – Oxford’s ‘sometimes disapproving’ sense is used to dismiss a woman where a man is called passionate. |
| feisty | brave, determined and not afraid to argue or defend yourself; showing lively aggressiveness (informal, approving) [depends on the sentence] — Why it lands differently: Oxford marks it approving; our own note – it is reached for about women and small people, implying surprise that they stand their ground. |
| frumpy | dressed in an unattractive way, in dull or untidy clothes that look old (same sense as dowdy) [not a compliment] — Why it lands differently: Oxford prints “(most often used of a woman or her clothes)”; MW does not gender it, and its own example is “He’s a frumpy dresser”. |
| hormonal | of or produced by hormones; also, affected by hormone changes in a way said to govern how you feel (informal in the ‘affected by hormone changes’ sense) [not a compliment] — Why it lands differently: Oxford and Merriam-Webster do not gender it, and MW’s own example is ‘moody hormonal teenagers’. Our own note: written of an adult woman it is almost always a way of tying her judgement to her body. |
| hysterical | of, relating to or marked by hysteria; in a state of extreme excitement, crying or laughing without control (informal in the ‘very funny’ sense) [not a compliment] — Why it lands differently: no dictionary gender label; our own note – the word descends from the Greek for womb, and has no live male equivalent. |
| kittenish | resembling a kitten; coyly playful, and trying to attract attention or sexual interest (old-fashioned) [not a compliment] — Why it lands differently: Oxford prints “(most often used about a woman)”; MW does not gender it, defining it only as resembling a kitten. |
| mannish | resembling or suggesting a man rather than a woman, especially in a woman’s clothes or manner (usually disapproving) [not a compliment] — Why it lands differently: Oxford restricts it to “(of a woman or of something belonging to a woman)”; MW words both senses by contrast with a man. |
| matronly | used of a woman to imply she is past youth, out of fashion and heavy in build (often disapproving) [not a compliment] — Why it lands differently: Oxford’s definition applies only to a woman and has no male form; MW genders it only indirectly, through the noun matron. |
| mumsy | comfortable or old-fashioned in a way thought typical of a kind mother, but lacking excitement or style (British English, informal, usually disapproving) [not a compliment] — Why it lands differently: Oxford prints no gender restriction, but the definition is built on a mother, so the word has no male counterpart in use. |
| nagging | persistently annoying someone or finding fault with them; complaining in a way that does not let up [not a compliment] — Why it lands differently: Neither dictionary genders it, and Merriam-Webster’s own illustration is even-handed: ‘a nagging husband/wife’. Our own note: in use it still lands on women far more often, but the evidence for that is usage, not the entry. |
| pert | showing a lack of respect, often in a humorous way; separately, of a part of the body, small and with an attractive shape [depends on the sentence] — Why it lands differently: Oxford restricts the disrespect sense to ‘especially of a girl or young woman’, and the second sense to a part of the body, not a person. |
| sassy | rude and disrespectful; also fashionable and confident (disapproving in the ‘rude’ sense; approving in the ‘confident’ sense) [depends on the sentence] — Why it lands differently: Oxford and Merriam-Webster do not gender it. Our own note: in American use it is strongly associated with a racial stereotype of Black women as well as with adult women generally, and of a grown woman it can read as diminishing. |
| shrewish | an offensive word for a woman held to be angry, bad-tempered and impossible to deal with (old-fashioned) [not a compliment] — Why it lands differently: Oxford’s entire definition is ‘an offensive word to describe an angry unpleasant woman’. Merriam-Webster’s entry carries no gender restriction at all. |
| shrill | sharp and high-pitched, piercing and unpleasant to hear; of protests or demands, loud and determined, and often held to be unreasonable [not a compliment] — Why it lands differently: no dictionary gender label; our own note – it attaches to a woman’s voice and arguments, and has no live male equivalent. |
| spinsterish | having the habits, appearance or traits of a spinster; old-maidish [not a compliment] — Why it lands differently: MW defines it wholly through spinster, a female-only noun; our own note – bachelor carries no matching adjective. |
| unfeminine | used to fault a woman for a voice, manner or appearance judged insufficiently womanly [not a compliment] — Why it lands differently: Merriam-Webster genders it inside the definition – “appropriate for a woman”; Oxford Learner’s has no entry for it. |
| unladylike | not becoming or suitable to a lady, as of behaviour, language or manners [not a compliment] — Why it lands differently: Merriam-Webster genders it inside the definition – “not becoming or suitable to a lady”; Oxford Learner’s has no entry for it. |
The ten that do the most work
- resourceful — finds a way when the obvious one closes, and Oxford marks it approving outright
- principled — says what she will not do, which almost no other word on this page says
- perceptive — notices what other people miss, and is about judgement rather than manner
- steadfast — stays, and the word carries a weight that loyal and reliable do not
- self-assured — confident without the note of surprise that feisty carries
- redoubtable — formidable and to be reckoned with, and one of the few grand words here with no gendered tail
- wry — humour that is dry rather than decorative, and the opposite of bubbly
- unflappable — keeps her head, and quietly answers the charge buried in emotional
- compassionate — the warmth word that implies action rather than temperament
- mature — included as a caution: Oxford gives it as a polite way of saying somebody is no longer young
Words people get wrong
| Pair | The difference that matters |
|---|---|
| bossy / masterful | The pair this page is built around. Merriam-Webster gives bossy a domineering sense and gives masterful one too — sense 1b, suggestive of a domineering nature. But Oxford restricts masterful to a person, especially a man, and marks bossy disapproving. Same behaviour, two words, and which one gets written depends on who is being described. Both are on this page, and both now carry the domineering half. |
| emotional / hysterical | Emotional is neutral in both dictionaries at its first sense — of or relating to emotion. Hysterical is not neutral anywhere: it descends from the Greek for womb, and it has no live male equivalent. Neither dictionary prints a gender restriction on either, which is the point — the asymmetry is in use, not in the entry, and a reader is on their own with it unless somebody says so. |
| feisty / spirited | Both mean lively and unwilling to back down, and Oxford marks feisty approving. The difference is not in the definitions, and no dictionary records it: our own reading is that feisty gets reached for about women, children and small dogs, and carries a note of surprise that the person stood their ground, where spirited carries none. Treat that as a suggestion rather than a rule — but if you would not write feisty about a tall man, that is the asymmetry. |
| matronly / mature | Two ways of saying a woman is no longer young. Oxford marks matronly often disapproving and its definition does the work openly — no longer young or fashionable, and perhaps heavy in build. Mature is Oxford’s own example of a polite or humorous way of saying the same thing. The difference is that mature does have a male use — Oxford’s own examples include a man of mature years — while matronly has none. |
| uppity / self-assured | The most loaded word on this page, and its history is not primarily about gender. Merriam-Webster carries a usage paragraph recording that uppity has a long history of being applied to racial minorities and especially to Black people, and marks that use disparaging and sometimes offensive. What it charges anyone with is not knowing their place. Self-assured describes the same bearing and charges nobody with anything. |
Related guides
- Adjectives for a girl — the vocabulary for a child, which overlaps with this page less than you would expect.
- Adjectives for girls — a wider list again, for describing more than one.
- Adjectives for beauty — where the appearance words on this page are treated as a subject in their own right.
- Adjectives for beautiful — the synonyms, for when one word is doing too much work.
- Adjectives for personality — the same character vocabulary without the gendered half.
- Adjectives for character traits — for describing anyone, which is the useful comparison to make against this page.
Checked against Merriam-Webster, the Chicago Manual of Style and the AP Stylebook. Spotted an error? Tell us — see our editorial policy.
